Yearning: the one about One Day

In the attic of my college during a weekend boarding task of decluttering - 9K for slave labour - I found a pretty good condition of One Day. I must’ve been in year 11 or so. What I thought to be boring and put down before chapter 2 had me sobbing a year later. I can’t name that many ‘what’s your favourite book?’ books off the top of my head. It’s such an overwhelming and broad question - there’s so much good literature out there! However, David Nicholls’ One Day has been a constant for nearly 10 years now. In honour of the latest adaptation, I’m going to talk about Em & Dex’s relationship and ultimately try and pinpoint what it is that makes this book so special to me.

I. One Day - Kodaline

One Day emphasises everything so endearing and heart-wrenching about the friends to lovers trope. The novel follows the 20 year relationship of Dexter Mayhew and Emma Morley on the anniversary of their first meet: 15th July, 1988 (St. Swithin’s Day). This will they won’t they of longing is not a solitary standing. Other examples include Love, Rosie and Normal People. All of these have similar dynamics to an extent. There’s an upper middle class vs working class pairing. A shy, quiet, sometimes nerdy coupling with a popular character that everyone loves but no one really knows. And most of all, there is yearning. There is an intense, blinding, I love you so deeply and immensely and truly under the guise of [best] friendship - it’s a Taylor Swift wet dream! I’ve read One Day like 5 or 6 times now I think? Each time it warms me, devastates me, excites me and teaches me. It’s incredible incredible writing. 

As both friends and as a couple, Em & Dex are extremely polarising. Dexter coasts off of the vibes of nearly every privilege you can think of (white, rich, pretty, straight) while Emma is pretty judgemental, quick to quit and ultimately spends a lot of time feeling sorry for herself. The dynamics shift a lot throughout the book (thank God) but when I first read it, I thought I had to pick a side. I will be 26 this summer and lucky for me, I realised somewhere between the ages of 18 and 22, there’s no side to pick. They’re both wrong and they’re both right a lot of the time. They’re both terrible together but also incredibly intertwined I can’t not root for them. I’m deeply in love with the ways Dex affirms Em in the same way I truly adore the ways Em brings Dex to himself. There is a softness and a sweetness in the way they complement each other but a real sadness I feel at how long it takes them to figure themselves out. I get so impatient! Why does it take so long for them to come together, I think about this a lot. But then I think of the growth, the ups and downs, the character development and how much happens years in in and out and it makes it suck a bit less.

One Day (2024)

II. One Day - Paolo Nutini

‘Dexter, I love you so much. So, so much, and I probably always will. I just don't like you anymore. I'm sorry.’

These words? Changed my life. David Nicholls, you will always be famous to me (I’ll try reading Us again). This was and is one of my first understandings of how layered relationships are, how vast love is and the way it spreads across all areas. It was groundbreaking to me and has been so crucial, like a constant rebirth in navigating my life and my relationships. 

See, Dex and Em get it wrong a lot. A large part of the novel is them going through the motions of trying to get it right. And as much as I hate the time, I really can appreciate the process. I can understand the sentiment of time wasted and time lost, but I can equally see it as time spent knowing what it means to love at your lowest, your meh and your Arthur’s Seat. With Dex and Em, in all this time of longing, there is so much learning of what vulnerability means and how to show up for the other in ways that ground both. There is space for devastation to be nothing more than a pit stop and for life to unfurl and happen to you and you to life. In honesty, in openness and communication, life is.

Ignoring the 2011 adaptation, the current Netflix remake is everything to me. I blushed, giggled, cringed, cried, and laughed. While the setting leaves much to be desired, Ambika Mod and Leo Woodall, these are my Em & Dex. The chemistry is perfect, the yearning, the anger, the upset, the devastation, the love - these are all present. Love lives here - in this almost faithful adaption that gives itself time to develop over multiple episodes, it leans into the seemingly cataclysmic and you-can’t-come-back-from-this type moments. It’s sexy and exciting and fun. The perfect embodiment of Em & Dex’s relationship.

For a long time, I carried my favourite quotes from the movie with me in a private note for my eyes only. I would regurgitate them mentally, assigning specific quotes to specific people and situations. Em and Dex somehow managed to perfectly capture a lot of the everything I’ve ever wanted to say to myself and people in my life. They also reminds me so much of how devastation is never a final destination but ultimately a blip in the radar. It all passes. 

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MESSY: The one About Olivia Dean