Waiting for The joy that comes in the morning

In jest and in all seriousness, I have recalled the story of Jacob (that I have often called Joseph) and him wrestling with God (i think). ‘I will not let You go unless You bless me’ he says. And so I too have decided that for all my plans and wants and needs and desires (that are ultimately not even that far fetched), I too will not let go until I am blessed. I think maybe that was taken as a threat or in anger because it’s not looking good.

It’s still March, we’re still in the first quarter of the year and my soul is wearier than it’s been in a long time. It is miserable out here. It is dire. It is difficult. It is hard. It is getting worse and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to get better. Before I decide to take in a deep breath and push through, I have decided to just lay down for a while. Have a nap, have a slumber. Have a teary eyed drink, have a teary eyed wink. Curl up restlessly and stare at the ceiling and think it’s pointless. Feel inconsequential and small and tiny and teeny weeny and itsy bitsy in the grand scheme of things.

There is so much weariness, so much heaviness and darkness and instability and I cannot understand the long term feasibility of keep on keeping on and this very miserable post was just to talk about the despair. To make up for the lack of words, I have collated a visual reflection of collective desperation in pictures, videos and funnier words than I can truly put together.

‘Weeping may last through the night,
    but joy comes with the morning’

-Psalm 30:5