Who’s Afraid of Growing Up?
Last year, roughly a month after season 2 of Anne Rice’s Interview With the Vampire ended, I came across a string of unfathomable words on twitter. ‘What do you know about Jam Reiderson Bailey Bass daughter’ or something similarly stupid. For those unaware, Jam Reiderson is the ship name for the actors Jacob Anderson and Sam Reid who play Louis de Pointe de Pointe de Lac and Lestat. This ship name is in turn derived from who Louis should be with based on chemistry, history and somewhere in there, love, I guess. Other ships and characters include Armand (Assad Zaman), Claudia (Bailey Bass and Delainey Hales) and Madeleine Éparvier (Roxanne Duran).
This is mostly spoiler free but you should know that IWTV does deal heavily with abuse across both seasons. Instead of this to be a focal point, the online conversation (tinged with racism) became something else. In the case of abuse, were you Team Lestat or Team Armand? Claudia and Louis be damned. With the anticipation of season 3, which focuses on the second book in the series, The Vampire Lestat, the fandom is about to become even more insufferable. Sam Reid’s Lestat continues to receive the baby girl treatment. By this, I mean the character and by extension, the real life actor becomes less of a layered personality but more two dimensional, they’re just a baby, they’re just a girl. This is part of a continuous growing trend of infantlisation which impacts the ways we socialise, communicate and interpret media. If everyone is just a baby, who are the adults and why are we incapable of acting our age?
Healing your inner child or whatever.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while - babyfication and girlifcation. When the ‘I’m just a girl’ trend gained traction online, it was as Lauren Gordon writes, ‘the silly, girly things us women get up to as twenty something teenage girls.’ I will practice restraint and glaze over that last part. For some, it’s a rallying call, a pushback to the ‘boys will be boys’ sentiment. Personally, I don’t think it is and if it was, it’s not anymore. As stand alone jokes and within reason, they can be funny, I’m not above admitting or even saying it myself. I’m not here to stomp on your fun but also I am. Grow up. The phrase has spiralled out of control to encompass anything and everything including healing your inner child by buying ice cream or playing with toys - which I mean you can just do but I guess. A recent Tiktok I came across perfectly summarises why I’m here to be strict. It said:
20 - 23 = teenager
24 - 27 = same age
28 = mid twenties
30 - 33 = late twenties
34 = 31
The caption: my credentials are, I’m always right.
I understand the joke of it all but to this, I ask, what are we actually doing here? At what point do we realise we are growing up, we are adults and it is okay for your age to be your age. No quirks, no ageing down, no funny business, just be.
‘These behaviors are not just personal quirks; they reflect a broader decline in essential social skills. Conflict resolution, self-advocacy, and emotional regulation are all necessary for navigating adulthood, yet we increasingly opt out of difficult conversations in favor of avoidance.’
Now this did not come from the ether. Jokes about ageing are not at all new. In The Nanny (1993), Fran Fine was in her 20’s across six seasons despite being in her mid to late 30s at the start of season 1. In Scream 4 (2011) - one of the best films in the franchise (yes) - Emma Roberts’ character delivers one of my favourite lines. ‘I mean what am I supposed to do? Go to college? Grad school? Work?’ More recently, Coralie Fargeat’s grotesque body horror The Substance (2024) examines our relationship with [female] ageing, stardom and celebrityhood.
Let’s also not forget the pandemic which stunted our socialisation to degrees that are still being studied. For two years, we were stuck indoors, glued to our screens and retreated into online playing fields. There was nothing but an abundance of time, which saw the growth of content creators and pandemic influencers - F.D.Signifier talks briefly about this here. Combined with already volatile fanbases and evolving social media capabilities, online habits are picked up and translated into the everyday. Amongst many other factors, a consequence of this was lost time and this shift to make up for missed ages.
‘You should be able to make your own doctor’s appointment. You should be able to navigate your hair salon’s website. You should be able to call your bank independently when your card does not work. Yet, many young adults approach these simple tasks with a mix of dread and performative helplessness.’
I was 21 when the pandemic started and 23 when ‘normalcy’ returned. Doing the ‘math’, I was still 21 on the other side, and now at 26, I’m technically still 24 and in my early - mid-twenties. Not to be that girl that’s too woke but the girl math of it all does contribute to growing trad content where women are girls, dainty and incapable of full thought.* Beyond this, is also the fact that things are truly dire. Maria Janeva notes, ‘previous generations often followed a more linear life trajectory: marrying young, having children early, and securing stable employment and homeownership soon after.’ These markers of adulthood are all things that seem so far and distant from what and where we are today. Janeva continues, ‘when the autonomy we seek is an uphill battle, the instant gratification of consumerism becomes an avoidance technique that puts a band-aid over the bullet hole. The pervasive sense of "not feeling like a real adult" stems from our reliance on outdated metrics of maturity. If we divorce adulthood from milestones like marriage, children, and property ownership, we are left with an unsettling realization: true adulthood is not just about external achievements but about cultivating fundamental life skills.’
The problems are many, I can understand that but it gets to a point. Regardless of what you do, everyone is just a baby, just a girl and ultimately incapable of acting their age. This babyfication is also a little too on the nose at this point, with more and more young people struggling with reading and comprehension. AI running rampant means there's less incentive to do as it will be done for you. Part of growing up, as difficult as it is, is in self discovery.
I’m not here to stomp on your fun but also I am. Grow up.
Media like Sex and the City (1998 - 2004) and Insecure (2016 - 2021) are huge not only because of their mundanity, but because of the ages of these characters that are older, flawed, still messy but still very much living their lives. If you pick up practically any Terry McMillan book, her characters are often Black, middle-aged or older, navigating their lives, making mistakes and ultimately finding their way. My point is, life well and truly goes on. You can well and truly do anything and part of that comes with growing up.
*Please note, I personally have always been terrible with numbers - I am actually looking into dyscalculia testing because it does get to a point.
